Ah yes, Saturday morning,,, the most wonderful morning of the week! The first thing I did today was pee on a flimsy strip of plastic (keto strip) and gauge my test results against a bevy of different colored squares on a bottle. Those squares hold the future of this glorious Saturday morning and my mindset for the day. Patience really isn't my virtue when it comes to dieting matters. When you percieve yourself to be working hard, you want to relish in those lil success dances that come with progress... Annnnnnd que the rogue hot dog cravings...
Burgandy has never been on the top of my favorite color rainbow but lately when I see it on that microscopic square test spot I squeeeeeeeeeeeee! (Just so you know,,, "Squeeeeeeeee" is an actual emotion for me, it ranks second on my meter-o-happiness behind "P-shaou baby,,, P-shau!!").
This morning that square was not full on burgandy but a subset of the color that determined my ketone level was "moderate". Yesterday it judged me as "high" so I wanted a cheese puff but realized this would be counter productive and abstained. Many folks are against urine ketone strips because they can take over your world and are generally not accurate. They're not addictive people,,, I can stop anytime I want to,, I'm fine, the reading doesn’t control me *twitches*. But the scale is another beast. It DOES have a power.
I currently possess a 1950's style analog scale that mocks me every time I walk by it. Each morning I put myself through a rigorous weighing routine that confirms my insanity.
First I surgically split the "0" just to be sure that a sliver of an ounce does not sneak in to my total thus brutally hijacking my final weigh in figure. Then I have to brace myself and hold on to the counter to assure that I am stepping on the platform as gently as possible as to not disturb the scale's Chakra. Next, once both feet are resting on the scale, I can assess my new total. But this isn't the FINAL total of course. I am forced to do the scale shimmy shift dance before accepting the total because if accepted prematurely it would certainly be an erroneous and egregious event against all of humanity. I have to repeat all of the above steps 5 times making a bathroom stop between each attempt to make sure that drop of urine in my bladder is not plotting against me to sabotage my happines.
I may have to quit my job to be able to undertake this endeavor on a daily basis.
With that being said, I am aware of my issues and the need for or a digital scale. I have been a little more obsessed this week because of an incident on August 22nd 2018 at 4:42! More on that later...... Scandalous!
The reality is that daily monitoring in this manner is unhealthy. It is counter productive to living the fatTASTICAL life I promised myself. This dieting journey will be a winding road that I need to traverse with care. We need not be the weight/ketone level police and ticket ourselves with stress everyday like that. I am hoping this "self intervention" will work and I will be able to stretch out the monitoring to a weekly event. *rocks back and forth*
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